The Me I Will Never Be

Want to know a weird way to simplify life? 

Admit the things about yourself that you secretly fantasize about and hope will come true one day. This is a surprisingly effective way to come to terms with your true self and diminish the amount of guilt (or whatever negative term) you feel about yourself.

Things I will never be/enjoy/do:

• Be fancy - even the slightest. Dressing up and putting on makeup is for super special occasions and even then, I'm usually underdressed. 
• Be a human music encyclopedia - for some reason, I think I will have the time and energy to listen to all the great music EVER made and just know randomness about Classical, Jazz, Pop, Rock, etc. 
• Be a jet setter - I like the idea of being a world traveler, but I have a hard enough time getting myself to go on long weekend trips an hour away from home.
• Be artistic, like singing or dancing - Maybe I'm creative in other ways, I don't know, but I am not musically inclined whatsoever.
• Be a gardener - I do not have a green thumb. Plants die in my care. I already know my future home will have the smallest yard ever.
• Be a persuasive salesperson-type - Nope. 
• Be a scrapbooker - I want to save memories, but I think I need to figure out a different way to do it.
• Love spicy foods - I can handle a little bit of heat, but I will never enjoy having my mouth on fire.
• Wear makeup - I don't wear makeup daily. My bare minimum effort is moisturizer lotion. Step up is mascara and lipstick. Eyeliner and eyeshadow for when I feel ambitious. Anything beyond that means I'm trying to be fancy. (See bullet 1.)
• Wear heels over 2 inches tall - Hell no.
• Going out - I really like being home and being on my computer or reading a book. Yes, I make plans and go out occasionally. But I will never fully 100% want to go out more than staying home.
• Know how to decorate my home - I watch HGtv with the hope of suddenly developing an eye for interior design. Except that I decorate my home with things I like, find comfortable, and that sure as heck don't match or make a "statement". My home is for living - no style magazine covers to see here, folks.
• Be even nerdier - This one is weird. I consider myself more of an academic nerd. I was good in school and did really well in most subjects. Sometimes though, I think I didn't get into enough of the extracurricular nerdy/geeky things that I should've. I can't even begin to explain this one. Let's just leave it be.
• Politically informed - I wish were better about learning more on topics that intrigue me and researching politicians and their platforms. I get garbled up, click bait tidbits and then move on. As much as I want to know more, I'm not sure I'm going to do anything to change that.

These are a few of the things I know for sure that I have secretly wanted to do more of or be better at. Some things about myself, I already admit to and have no problem with: being a lifelong fan of the Backstreet Boys, not enjoying sports (watching or participating), and who knows what else that I can't think of right now. It just seems like if I can come to terms with the life I imagine having and really focus on the one I'm already living, then it will serve to simplify things like what I will spend time, money, and energy on.

Owning up to the me I'll never be let's me actually enjoy being the me I already am.

Did you get that??