Respect Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself!

This year is about simplifying my life. One thing that I can't really ever simplify is being a mom. Being a mom is by far the hardest role I've ever had in my life, and it's the newest part of my identity as well. Everything about myself, starting about 18 months ago, has taken a backseat to being the best mom I can be. No other part of who I am or was really truly prepared me for the whirlwind of motherhood. Yes, there are ways to make life a little easier but parenting is hard work. I can outsource plenty of the chores or errands that exist in our household but you can't really outsource being a mom.

I've been fortunate enough to have a husband who steps up and supports me when I need to take a break for myself, but it's always been little doses of "me" time up until now. It's been nothing more than a few hours here and there to go get a haircut or massage or read in peace. The fact that "me" time has to be something that I need to fit into my schedule makes me sad, for no other reason than me wondering who the hell am I the rest of the time then?!

Well, maybe I can't make motherhood simpler, but I can make it the day-to-day of it more enjoyable by taking care of myself so that I can in turn take better care of Little Girl. I truly believe that you have to take care of yourself first before you can give your best shot at anything else. It's like on airlines when the flight attendants tell you that in an emergency, you need to put your mask on first before you assist small children (or others who might need help). You need to give yourself a chance to breathe before you can be much help to anyone else.

This weekend was a huge step for me in terms of doing things for myself that I used to do and loves, but have neglected to fit into my current lifestyle. For one, mama went on a bit of a shopping spree and bought some pretty things for the house and some much needed new clothes. Ok, so the pretty house items were mainly to organize Little Girl's toys but it still makes me happy to get some order back into my home and have nice storage to look at. It may not have been the most glamorous purchase or the most luxurious, but when you're like me, order and organization are such satisfying parts of life.

Pretty baskets make me happy.

As for the clothes, I didn't even mean to buy any! But somehow I ended up at Target, in the clearance section, and next thing I knew, I was heading home with a bunch of new tops, a couple of dresses, and a spiffy new jacket. I'm really excited to wear my new stuff, but at the same time, I'm hoping in the next few months, I will have to get new stuff! 

But why in the world would I need to buy more clothes so soon?! Well, this weekend was the first time in a LOOOOONG time that I made myself workout and actually finish. I popped in one of my workout DVDs and completed the entire 30 minute routine. Yeah, I know, 30 minutes doesn't sound like that much time, but when you haven't really exercised in months, maybe even a year or more, then those 30 minutes can seem never-ending and brutal. Luckily, I pushed through and was pleasantly surprised that I wasn't more tired than I expected to be.

Post workout: The smile masks the pain.

I also made another purchase that I'm REALLY SUPER EXCITED about... I bought season tickets to Broadway in Chicago!!! If you're unfamiliar, Chicago has a great theater scene and some of the biggest and best shows grace our wonderful city with their amazing presence. Season tickets allow me to attend about five shows (plays and musicals) for a package price. I was too late to get tickets for the Spring/Summer shows but I'm locked in for the Fall/Winter! The catch is that you can't pick which shows you see - they're already pre-planned. I can't even be mad about that though because I'll be seeing Hamilton!! It's the latest, buzzed about show around, and I'm beyond excited to experience it myself!

SO EXCITED!!!

So what prompted the resurgence in theater-going? Well, next weekend, my husband and I, along with our family, will be seeing my two lovely nieces as a part of their high school production of Thoroughly Modern Millie! I'm not too familiar with this show but that's never scared me away from seeing other plays and musicals I didn't know. I realized this was going to be the first time in a long time that I was seeing a theater production of any kind. My husband and I used to go more often before we had Little Girl, but it's an interest of mine that fell dormant. Well, it's been reawakened! Here's the kicker... I'll be going alone! Someone has to stay home to watch Little Girl and my husband was more than willing to let me pursue one of my interests again on my own. 

Sometimes, a part of taking care of yourself is more than just the outer maintenance. You need to tap into those passions and hobbies that you cherish. You need to focus on yourself and indulge some of your wants and needs. I really feel like this weekend has been a big win for me. As I fill up my soul meter with some good vibes, I'm hoping it will give me the energy I need to tackle the projects I have lined up to simplify my life.

Cinderelly, Cinderelly; Or, Make my to-do list disappear

It's inevitable that if you can't always seem to get your act together (and who can?!), then at some point, life's to-do list gets a bit overwhelming and can seem out of control. How can you tackle the never-ending string of tasks that keep piling up? From the minor to the major things that need to get done, I'm working on finding ways to whittle down that to-do list and bring back some order to life.

Thanks to my happiness guru, Gretchen Rubin, I've found two tricks that really can help, even if I don't consistently employ these tactics myself. All you have to do is decide how much time you have to get something done. Don't worry, it's not that hard of a decision to make, as you might think.

The One-Minute Rule
If you are faced with a task that will take less than a minute to do, then DO IT! I don't know how many times I made my to-do list worse because I didn't tackle something the moment I noticed something needed to be done. Think about it - changing the toilet paper roll, putting away a dirty dish in the dishwasher, recycling some junk mail - these are tasks that truly take no time at all, but we are all guilty of putting it off, for no better reason than being lazy. Then you find yourself in need of TP when it's an EMERGENCY, you've run out of clean plates to use, or you have a pile of mail that needs to be sorted. Even if it turns out to take more than a minute or two, I find that I feel better getting something done and out of the way. It's one less thing to think about. I keep a real pen-and-paper list so I actually have to remember to add something to my list if I don't do it - so the list keeps growing if I don't follow the one-minute rule!

Power Hour
It's funny how the longer you put something off, the more intimidating or time consuming it can seem. If you know you have a task that will take more than a minute but you're not quite sure when you'll have time to tackle it, then I suggest blocking off a power hour to git 'er done. Simply enough, you spend one hour focused on your task. Set your timer, do the work, and stop when the timer goes off. Even if you don't finish, you will have accomplished one more hour's worth of work than you had been accomplishing. You'll probably find that you don't even need the whole hour for some things. Gretchen Rubin suggests doing a power hour once a week, but I find that every now and then, I have an extra hour to spare during the week so I try to take advantage of the extra time when I can. I'm a planner by nature so I like having a scheduled power hour but if I come across a spare hour (or even just 20 minutes) then it can really help go a long way to crossing things off the to-do list.

Now don't fret if you don't think these times really work for you. There are plenty of other pieces of advice floating out there - you can take 10 minutes every day to tidy up, or maybe you want to break up a big project and spend 30 minutes every evening on it until it's done. There's no wrong way to get your to-do list done. For me, as long as I work on something, and it eventually makes my life simpler by not being a nuisance on my mind and time anymore, then that's what counts.

So, have I been perfect at utilizing the one-minute rule or setting up my power hours? Absolutely not. But when I actually take a minute or an hour to do something, it's always been a productive use of time, and I never regret getting something done. Do I wish it had been my bright ideas to spend a minute to tidy up or to take an hour to deal with a looming task? Sure! But since they weren't my ideas, then I'm glad I was at least introduced to Gretchen Rubin so I could stumble onto her ideas!

Now I can cross off writing this blog post from my to-do list this week.

LYLAS, KIT*, Or How I'm Simplifying My Social Calendar

One of my broad goals for the year was to spend more time with my friends and loved ones. I tried to make it more specific by setting aside the second Sunday of every month to do something with my peeps. So how is that going?

Weeellll...

I did great in January, back when my initial ambition and eagerness were in full force. The second Sunday in February ended up being my birthday but I saw friends at other times in the month. I didn't plan anything in March but I did see a few friends and family members during the month.

This month (that'd be April) I didn't do anything (again) on the second Sunday but I did go out to dinner with a few friends on the second Saturday... which totally counts to me!

It was a small group of us, but it was a great time catching up with everyone. It turns out that I really enjoy smaller gatherings and a big part of that is probably due to my introversion. Say what you will about the definition and traits of an introvert but these things are true of me: I am more engaged and animated in smaller groups or one-on-one interactions, and I do not enjoy being over-stimulated such as being in large crowds or at big parties or hopping around to multiple locales.

This dinner was perfect for how I do best in social settings. Four people (including me), sitting down to eat, lots of conversation and laughter. The most stressful parts of the evening for me were probably figuring out how I'd get to the restaurant (cab) and standing in the crowd of people waiting to be seated. That's not too bad on the grand scale of stress.

I'm probably going to have to figure out how to manage my social calendar (and my goal) a little differently for the rest of the year. I'm not a fan of planning a big group thing, and it can get hectic trying to juggle everyone's RSVPs or food preferences or whatever else comes up. As much as I love seeing my friends, sometimes the hassle to plan is more than I can take, and it seems easier to just ditch the whole idea and stay home in my pajamas.

Luckily, I have some awesome people in my life who will drag me out of my home and get me out and about. There are dinner plans already in the works for May, and I'll be trying to get some one-on-one time with a few other people. It sucks that I can't see everyone or make it work to get a big group together all the time, but it's ok in the long run. I feel much more comfortable when I can give my attention to a few people at a time, and it gives me a better sense of reconnecting with those people who made time for me too.

Having said that, if any of my friends want to see me, let me know! You know how to reach me. :)

*For the uninitiated of acronyms from bygone youth: LYLAS = Love You Like A Sister; KIT = Keep In Touch

Simplifying life. Or, What was my point again?

After a quick review of my last few posts, it dawned on me that I've strayed from the whole point of my blog. Sure, I've made updates on how I'm doing on some of my peripheral goals this year, but this blog is about my one word year. This blog is supposed to be about how I'm finding ways to simplify things in life.

So how am I simplifying my life? I think there are many areas of life that would benefit from some clean up but the easiest thing to tackle is the physical stuff. I've always had a weird obsession interest in organization, decluttering, storage solutions, and anything related.

Having said that, it's easy enough to be interested in having a less cluttered house and simplify life with fewer material possessions, but it's not that easy to put into place sometimes. I've amassed so much information about organizing the home and how to store things beautifully, but I've always been overwhelmed with the idea of doing anything about it.

Exhibit A: The junk room.

Last year, I thought I had figured out the answer to my troubles. I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. If you're not up to speed on this decluttering phenomena, then here's my explanation in a nutshell. You tackle your clutter in one big effort, in a methodical and systematic way by going after item-type, not by room, one item at a time, one type after the other. (I.e. Clothes, books, etc.) The simple criteria is you keep the item if it "sparks joy" in you. (I'm definitely not doing justice to Kondo's process so it's better you read up on it yourself.)

Unfortunately, I never implemented the "KonMari" method of tidying up. However, one thing that I've taken away from the book is the concept of items sparking joy. As I attempt to declutter my house one item at a time or one room at at time (totally against Kondo's concept!), I decide if the item gives me joy. It sounds easier than it is since you really have to decide if you're feeling joy or maybe something else (sentimentality? ambivalence?). I've managed to clean up a lot of things using this strategy though.

Another strategy that has helped me comes from my happiness guru, Gretchen Rubin. The first of her Twelve Personal Commandments is "Be Gretchen". Granted, this is her personal list and she's referring to herself, but the idea still resonates with me. I have to accept my likes and dislikes and know my limitations. I have to "Be Kim". That means I have to accept that I won't be a scrapbooker or make my own beaded jewelry. I've gotten rid of lots of things after I really made myself dig deep and decide if those items were contributing to me being authentic and genuine.

Our home is still a work in progress and I definitely still have trouble with getting rid of certain stuff, but in general, I've been decluttering away. I've cleared space on counter tops, I've donated or sold unwanted items, and I'm figuring out how to store the stuff we are keeping in more aesthetically pleasing containers. 

In the meantime, everything else goes into the junk room until I can deal with it.